Sunday, October 30, 2011

Quitting sugar, quitting speed

Yes I'm quitting sugar and subsequently I am quitting: speed. No no, not the amphetamine variety (In fact, I wouldn't know that if it came and bumped me on the forehead) but the literal act of rushing. And more specifically rushing through my food.

I've noticed over the past 12 sugarfree days that by pausing to think about what I am eating, I am also pausing to think why am I eating. Going sugar free is giving me time to be more aware of my emotional triggers for food. 

This morning for instance, my 2 year old daughter had an altercation with a giant slide at one of those kids indoor playgrounds. In the company of my friends, I was attempting to placate her. My friend grabbed some halloween treat bags full of lollies that she had prepared for the kids. Whilst the lolly helped Miss2 for a brief moment, it didn't help enough and I soon decided she may need to head to emergency. 

Driving to the ED, I was of course feeling flustered, guilty, anxious, confused and angry. The treat bag sat within my reach on the passenger seat. I don't think I have been more vulnerable over these past 12 days than that very moment.  But because I am on this sugar free journey I was empowered enough to pause, recognise that I was just having an emotional response and swiftly threw the bag onto the floor, well out of my reach. (In my sugar addict state that wouldn't be out of reach enough - I've been quite capable of performing Olympic standard gymnastic manoeuvres in the car at any red light, when the need for sugar is bad enough.)

Likewise this afternoon, feeling exhausted from our ordeal (which BTW turned out to be a slight overreaction - 3 hours in ED, 2 traumatic X-Rays and we left with 2 band aids for friction burn) I was hanging out at the pantry door begging for something to jump out at me. I grabbed some Pringles (damn that lady at the supermarket giving samples last week). But, like Sarah outlines in her e-book, fat is filling. Our body can tell us when we've had enough. True to form, after a handful of those wafer thin chips I was over them.

I'm also hoping that by taking on this sugar free challenge I'm also getting over food (sweet food) being an automated response to emotional situations.

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