Hi there - you haven't heard from me in while. Because things in my sugarfree land have been going relatively swimmingly. And as much as I love to talk about myself, I'm sure there's only so many times I can write that I'm feeling fab and going sugarfree has changed my life.
But this post is about falling of the wagon.
This post highlights the reality of sugar addiction.
As I said, I've been feeling fab and confident that I had my sugar addiction pretty much licked, for choice of a better term.
But two weeks ago I started planning for my son's 5th birthday. I arranged these fabulous (easy peasy, but cute and decorative) choc dipped marshmellows on sticks. I also planned chocolate spoons sprinkled with various sweet jewels. I made a heavenly rich chocolate slice. I thought I'd be able to cope handing such treats out to the guests and keep myself in control.I thought I'd be able to keep myself dignified and cool.
But I didn't. Not by a long shot.
There was spoon licking, taste testing and leftover gorging galore. I had allowed myself permission to celebrate my son's birthday, but that permission stretched for the remainder of the week, smack bang into my daughter's 3rd birthday. Where equally decadent treats were to be had. And oh how I had them.
In amongst this I was hit with a strange bug that zapped all my energy and left me feeling sorry for myself.
As I write this post I have a belly full of left over marshmellows.
I've flicked that switch on in my mind that says "oh just a little bit won't hurt". The same way that a gambling addict might say - "just a few dollars won't stretch the budget", or an alcoholic who says "I could have just one drink" or a reformed smoker that declaring to "just smoke when I drink."
Being addicted to sugar is real.
I'm weak when I'm tired, sick or celebrating. Individually I'm strong enough to sail past each of these obstacles. I've proven that in the past. But as I have learned over this past week, bundle them altogether and I'm in strife.
So, I've written this post as a reminder to myself that I'm no super hero against the clutches of sugar. I've also written as a little warning to anyone who is an addict like me - that's it's just like any other addiction. It's easy to fall and it's easy to fall fast. Lastly, I've written this a bit of a contract to myself. To forgive myself for and allow myself to move on.